Johnny's Jive



Now, I have already spoken about some of the things I will be covering in this here jive, but some a youse wasn't payin' attention. Right, Celticchef? Ya pain in the keester. What does that mean, "Celticchef" anyway? You know how to boil a pa-ta-to? Oh, in whisky? Soundsgood!

The new CD is going to be available soon. When, exactly? How the f*&%k would I know. I'm the LEAD SINGER! You know; the one who stares off into space between verses and has to be told when to go on stage and when to get off, and when to comb his hair and what town we're in and what his name is? That guy. That's me. And I do a damn fine job, too. Basta.

But we hope to have a buncha new merchandise for ya this summer. The King Pin has ordered new shirts, silk, I thinkhe said, and there will be posters from a leading...uh...poster guy ( plus cheap knockoffs for all you outa-workers that you can purchase with food stamps) and earmuffs with the Jukes logo and we will have a tattoo parlor set up on the side of the stage...Eddie's gonna run that, I believe, and a sun tanning booth with a silhouette of my face blocked out inside so you can show of your love for me in skin tones. Lucky you.

We are having a release party just about everywhere the law will let us. June 5th at BB's in NYC is for the press and radio and dead sea slugs. Prizes will be given for those who can tell the difference. You can come, but you have to wear a fedora with a press card stuck in it. Or just act obnoxious. That'll do it.

Then there's July 2nd at the Pony. Now folks, that will be a party. We're gonna try to have Windmill hot dogs and give-aways and maybe a witch burning or two. Should be fun.

We will be pre-forming the entire pillsandammo CD in it's entirety and in numerical order according to height alphabetically , whether you like it or not. So there.

Like and as I say, the Jukes and I are so anxious (pun) to get to playing that we may just come over to yer house and set up in the backyard. And we need an audience. That's you.


That is all. Over and out.

The Jives