Southside Johnny.com: John's Jive

June 25, 2002

Man the barricades! Batten down the hatches! Call your lawyer or better yet... STUFF YER EARS WITH COTTON! The new Jukes CD is actually, really, like, totally FINISHED!

That low moaning sound you hear is music fans the world over sobbing in relief with the knowledge that their long, lonely wait is finally over. A real honest-to-Betsy JUKES record. With horns on every G-damn song. Horns, horns and more horns. Horns til ya wanna hurl yer lunch up. Well, at least I do. Yes, it’s me; ole man Southside, fresh from slaving over a steaming 24 track Studer recording device, and I’m here to tell ya, this new hunk-o-plastic is about as Jukified as it can get without it being confiscated by the authorities. Maybe they will, anyway. But you don’t have to worry. No, No. You lucky, lucky folks can have yer very own, personal copy to throw in the back of yer sock drawer and ignore for the rest of yer miserable lives simply by coming to Trump Marina on June 29 and saying “Gimme one a them damn CDs before I come to my senses!”. Uh...you do have to pay for it, BUT we will throw in a ****FREE****””Live at Jukestock” CD sampler. Plus, you get to see ...................................................................US!!!!!!!! OK, OK, maybe we’ll spring for a beer of something, too. Sheeesh, you people are tough!

COME SEE THE JUKES! Laugh uproariously as LaBamba boinks Bobby in the back of the head with his trombone slide! Watch in horror as Mark’s head finally explodes during a solo! Drool over Eddie Manion’s...uh...Manion-ness? Gaze in pity as the feeble-minded lead singer struggles to remember words to songs he’s sung THOUSANDS OF TIMES!

Will Jeff Kazee rip himself in half as he tries to play two keyboards at once? (Especially since Hood keeps moving them a little farther apart each night.) See Muddy get even MUDDIER! eeeeuwwww. Place bets on whether Chris will bean Louie with his trumpet mute during “Fever”. And always, always keep yer eye on Joey Stann ‘cause....ya never know??!!!???

It promises to be a night of splendid mayhem. Don’t miss it if you can. Forewarned is four-armed. (Is that right?)

Southside Johnny (see? I can, too spell my name, nyya)

P.S. There SHOULD be some new tunes up on the website for you to check out soon, if the elves are doing their job.