Southside Johnny.com: John's Jive

06/07/03

Boyoboy! Are you people mean! Not only do you harass me about a new jive, but you correct my grammar. Leave my Grammar alone! She never did nothin' ta you. Sheeeesh!

I know I have been lax and remiss, which, by the way, is the name of my law firm; "Lax, Remiss,and Lollygagish; solicitors and bivalves," but my mind was in the shop being regrooved and degreased. A painful and expensive process, but I do it all for you. But on to the news!

I see by the complaint...I mean.... message board that the European DVD is starting to sprout in this nice spring weather I predicted, oh, a month or so ago. (Shut up!) Of course, no one in what we laughingly call "management" bothered to inform little ole me about such a thing, so I know less than YOU do. But what can one expect, and afterall, you know more of my own lyrics than I do, so what the hay, right. I will endeavor to cattleprod Mr. Bill into making the damn thing available in a playable USA format ASAP. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about the ugly mug singing lead...he just won't go away!

I sincerely want to thank all of you for your support of Bobby and the Robert Fund. All of us in the band know how lucky we are to have real people as fans, and not a bunch of scenemakers. I won't go on about it, although I could. You've kept us going for a long time, and you always chip in when asked. Thank you. And now back to the drivel.

There is an old Arapahoe chant that goes "Oooopopadoolybop-adip-adoop-shaalangalangalang-kazowee!" that, roughly translated, means "We need some dang rain... get the Jukes!" All, and I mean ALL of the outdoor fests we've done so far this year have been de-renched. I mean, Hello, Noah. What is up wit dat? I still have mud on my new red cons from the Daffodil Festival. And I ain't cleanin' em neither, dammit. That mud was hard earned. Beside, I kind of like the contrast of the red and the brown. High fashion, dont cha know? Well, at least high-top. The sad thing is that Eddie left his baritone sax out for sound check at the Princeton gig, and a little chipmunk crawled into it for shelter, and drowned when the bell filled up with rain. Isn't that tragic? Poor Eddie was inconsolable. Sigh.

On to happier thoughts. The band is heading over the Great Wet Spot to ravage England and the Continent once again. More snails for everyone! Yahoo! Hood eats his with peanut butter. Yum. Of course, we will also be infesting these greatandgrand Untied States this summer. Rib fests, clam bakes, state fairs, executions, and anywhere a good plague outbreak happens; there you will find the Jukes, playing singing, eating, laughing, foaming at the mouth and dropping like flies. Ah summer, I do love it so.

As for me, well, what can I say. Busy, busy, busy. J-Lo and Ben have asked me to be their marriage counselor, but I had to ask them to hold off the wedding until I get back from Stockholm with my Nobel in, oh, I forget what it is this time. Those people are such pests! And then there's my guest appearance as a judge on American Idol... Heh heh heh, can you imagine. Blood would flow off that stage like bad notes at a Grateful Dead concert! I'd hang the songwriters first, then guillotine the arrangers, then, then.....easy, fella. All in good time, all in good time.

So you see, an eventful year stretches out before us, and I hope you all get to participate in one way or another. And, from the Jukes and me, as I sit here covered in no-see-um bites and the mosquitoes are massing for a full frontal assault and more elderly neighbors keel over from the heat and the air conditioner wheezes its last dying puff of lukewarm air and the Mets are having another banner year and the local weather man is screaming hysterically about a tornado alert and my ice maker has been repossessed so I have to drink my Jack warm, I say..

Raise a Glass to Summer! Southside